Tuesday, January 17, 2006

OH, THAT HILLARY!!!

Hillary Rodhm Clinton (giggle) said yesterday (giggle, giggle) the George W. Bush presidency (Ha! Ha!) will go down in history (Ha! Ha! Snort!) as the worst in history. Yeah, right, Hil, directly behind the travesty that was the "Slick Willie" Presidency. I'd write and laugh more, but I have to go to my soon to be out-sourced job. Don't worry, thanks to Bill Clinton and NAFTA I'll be able to get another job in nearby Mexico. I just need to learn to speak Spanish and how to live on 3 pesos a day.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

SHARON IN COMA

Israel's Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's condition continues to improve after a massive stroke though he remains in a drug induced coma. Being in a coma of course still makes him more aware than many world leaders such as George W. Bush and Dick Cheney. (Did I hear someone say Tony Blair?)

MORONS RETURN

After a more than six month work and personal life induced coma MORONS the blog is back at it!!!! Speaking of comas see our next item!!!

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

JACKO'S FREE, WILLY!!!!

Michael Jackson was acquitted on all counts yesterday. A thrilled Jackson looked down at his lap upon hearing the verdict and shouted with glee, "You're free, Willy! You're free!"

Friday, May 27, 2005

JACKO'S "MANHOOD" A NO SHOW AT TRIAL

At the Michael Jackson trial Thursday the judge ruled that Jacko would not have to display in public his private (or is that pubic) parts. An indignant Jackson was overheard saying, "I drop trou for no man! For any boy, but no man." Jackson's attorney quickly hushed the King of Pop.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Gas Prices Dip Even Lower

Yup! Gas prices have dropped enough I can eat chili again!!! Somebody get me a Zantac!!!

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

HOLY SMOKE WE GOT US A NEW POPE

Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger of Germany was elected pope Tuesday. He chose the name Benedict XVI. We here in the U.S. have a problem with people with the name Benedict (Remember Benedict Arnold betrayed us during the American Revolutionary War.) on top of that he is German. He would have been only a teenager during World War II so Nazi ties are unlikely. However, what of the rumors (Started here.) of his careening drunkenly down the Autobahn with little boys in the passenger seat. Hmmmm.

GERMAN PROTESTER CALLS FOR FEMALE POPE

Monday a woman protester marched in her crusade for a female pope. The cardinals gave brief cosideration to this idea but dismissed this thought based on two points: 1. The pope would have to be a chick and b. They'd lose her for five days out of the month for...well, you know.

Monday, April 18, 2005

GAS PRICES GO DOWN!!! HALLELUJAH!!!

Meanwhile, back in the colonies, gas prices took a small dip. Approximaetly .07 a gallon. That was enough relief that I allowed myself the extravagance of ripping a silent but deadly. My apologies to anyone in the area at that time. It were a stankty one.